How Connection Helps Young Children Grow More Independent

Independence is an important part of Montessori education, but that doesn’t mean young children should be pushed to do everything by themselves. In fact, a child’s growing independence is closely connected to feeling safe, understood, and supported by the adults around them.

In this thoughtful article from the Association Montessori Internationale, AMI trainer Erin Smith explores how connection lays the foundation for independence during the first three years of life. She encourages parents to move away from pressure-filled phrases such as “You can do it yourself” and instead trust that independence will develop naturally when children are given time, a supportive environment, and the reassuring presence of a responsive caregiver.

The article also offers a helpful way to view tantrums, defiance, and other challenging behaviors. Rather than simply seeing them as misbehavior, parents can consider whether a young child may be asking, “Am I safe?” or “Am I seen?” It’s a reassuring reminder that offering comfort and connection does not prevent independence—it helps make independence possible.

How can staying connected help your child become more confident and independent?

This link will take you to the Association Montessori Internationale website.